The power of stupid memories and cheesy jingles

I hope to god this embeds properly, because it's been making the rounds of sports sites and is awesome.

There's a music store across the street from my office that says, "Without music, life would be a mistake." Even though I would sound like a strumming monkey were I to pick up a real guitar, or act like a three-year-old given a couple of wooden spoons and pots and pans if I sat behind a real drum kit, I love music. Love it, love it, love it. Specifically listening to it (playing Rock Band gives me the ersatz creation feelings I crave, in lieu of above-mentioned lack of real talent).

And while it's said that scent often triggers the strongest emotional connections, music has those, too. What's funnier is how songs like the above-embedded YouTube clip - of John Tesh's "Roundball Rock," much better known as the iconic NBA on NBC theme song - work into a sports fan's heart and well up memories on its own.

It's silly, it's stupid, and performed live or found on MP3, it's a long-ass jingle. But just that spark of "Roundball Rock" brings up so many images of the NBA because the period that song was used to introduce NBC's coverage was a watershed for the sport: Jordan. The tail end of Bird and Magic. Hakeem and my Blazers. By the end of NBC's coverage, Shaq and Kobe were forming a terrifying combination as the Forum was about to come to a close for hoops in Los Angeles.

Quite possibly the greatest era in one of my favorite spectator sports is encapsulated in that wonderfully early-90s-tastic song.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way about "Roundball Rock," and I know the NBA isn't the only sport to have a signature tune. Across the pond, Formula 1 coverage on the BBC in the United Kingdom had one opening song for an entire generation - the ending bass-riff from Fleetwood Mac's "The Chain." From the late '70s through to 1996, the visuals might have changed, but the rising shriek of guitars accompanied the intro. So when the BBC won back Formula 1 broadcast rights starting this upcoming season, there was little doubt there'd be speculation about The Chain returning:



Sure, that's fan-made, but lovingly so and if the real thing is close then I wouldn't be surprised. Having seen older intros as well on YouTube, I get it.

Just like how - as cheesy as it is - the ever-altered Monday Night Football theme still ties in emotions. Or how Canadian fans consider the Hockey Night in Canada theme to be as part and parcel to the coverage as legendary commentator Don Cherry's flagrant suits.

I would say it's as important as hearing other theme songs for popular TV shows or movie series, but though I may be biased as a sports fan, the connection with the intro theme song is greater - for the same reason why sports make for some of the best human drama. Nothing is planned or staged out ahead of time, and it all unfolds, real-time, right in front of your eyes. The connection with sports teams runs deep, and, just like how a college fight song can be universal to school alumni, the theme song for certain sports stand out.

It doesn't always work - most of the ones in major American sports right now are forgettable at best, though Baseball Tonight's jingle is pretty good - but the transcendent ones stick with you. Which is why I'm going to try to make "Roundball Rock" into a ringtone-sized MP3 file, again, and set that on my phone, just to see if I run into another sports geek who wells up with stupid emotion at the sound of John Tesh's master work as much as I do.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me - Sports succumbing to the bottom line, v. 4,146,900

AC Milan midfielder Kaka, a former World Player of the Year and Ballon d'Or (European Fotballer of the Year), is the target of the most recent example of money being thrown around in sports like it's Monopoly. Photo from goalvideoz.com

"Cash rules everything around me/C.R.E.A.M. get the money/Dolla dolla bill ya'll." Arguably the best-known song from the Wu-Tang Clan's breakout debut album, "C.R.E.A.M." is also applicable as a refrain when absolutely silly amounts of money are thrown around in the world of sports.

It's applicable often nowadays, considering the amount of money teams make, what the salary caps are in American sports, the budgets of big-money NASCAR and Formula 1 racing teams, and the amount of money bidded on players in European soccer. I don't know if it's wrong or right, but there's certainly a lot of money being thrown around.

Take our boy Kaka there as seen above. He's a star playmaking midfielder for Italian giants AC Milan, lifted the Champion's League trophy in 2007, and won a World Cup as a young substitute for Brazil in 2002. He's a silky-smooth passer and dribbler without the flair of a Cristiano Ronaldo or Robinho, but the capability to drive a team from the heart of midfield. He won both the FIFA World Player of the Year and the European Footballer of the Year, the Golden Ball (Ballon d'Or), after the 2006-07 Champion's League-winning season, and is clearly a player most any team in the world would love to have in its side.

Which still doesn't quite excuse nouveau-riche Manchester City's ~$155 million bid for him (link to BBC Sports). Of course it's not the player's fault, and one would hardly blame him if he decided to accept City's offer. However, this move would more than double the record transfer fee and certainly challenge the deal New York Yankees 3B Alex Rodriguez has as the richest for a team-sports athlete in the world.


Current world transfer-record player, former France playmaker Zinedine Zidane, being introduced after Real Madrid paid Juventus 46 million pounds ($67 million) for his services

The names at the top of the record transfer list are not entirely shocking when one thinks about it. Real Madrid are the New York Yankees of international soccer; 9 European cups, nearly 30 Spanish Liga titles, and a grand history of expensive stars. Juventus are the "old lady" of Italian football, Inter are the rich little brother in Italy (well supported but falling short in title chases numerous times), Barcelona are the old enemy to Madrid in Spain and have a history of splashing cash, and Manchester United are quite possibly the best-known soccer team in the United States, thanks to star players like Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, and of course, at one time, David Beckham.

But two other names stand out. Manchester City, the squad looking to more than double the transfer record to sign Kaka, have already added a big-name Brazilian star in the form of Robinho, signing him from Real Madrid in August for 30 million pounds. Lazio, though - who were injected with cash in the late 1990s in order to push the Roman side into the Italian title chase - mirror Manchester City rather well, down to the traditional home colors of sky blue.


Former Lazio owner Sergio Cragnotti poses with one of the players his largesse brought to the Roman side, Czech winger Pavel Nedved.

Lazio were powered forward by the largesse of Italian food magnate Sergio Cragnotti, who spent early and often in a search for the Italian scudetto. While Lazio had always been one of Italy's "Big Six" (along with Juventus, Inter, AC Milan, AS Roma, and at times Fiorentina), Cragnotti wanted to rocket the team into the stratosphere.

The well ran dry and it left Lazio stumbling; they seem to have recovered and made the Champion's League in 2007-08, but have done so without spending huge.

Sound familiar? Manchester City were purchased in late August by a group that consists of the royal family of the city of Abu Dhabi, one of the United Arab Emirates. Oil-rich and expanding into tourism and finance to diversify its economy, Abu Dhabi's royal family has a multi-billion dollar bankroll behind them thanks to oil production. Now, they're trying to play a virtual video game with the Premier League and see if, like on the PC games, attracting all the best players in the world with lots of money will lead to success.

Of course you can't help but think of the impact this has on sports in general. If it works, and Manchester City - traditionally well-supported in England but without a great history of winning titles - qualifies for the Champion's League and challenges for titles, then the "money cheat code" method of ownership could be proven correct.

Regardless of the opulence it's representative of the sports world at large. TV money has poured into a variety of sports since the late 1960s, and with it has come an era of previously-unheard of success. The NFL practically has a license to print money in the United States - and yet ticket prices are only ever going up. Major League Baseball had 10 teams with payrolls higher than $100 million in a year, and that includes the Yankees, who broke $200 million.


The New York Yankees' Alex Rodriguez is currently the highest-paid team sport athlete in the world; will Kaka's salary match his?

What can be done about it, though? Short of salary caps staying at an equal level and nobody deciding to break the salary caps with tons of money, that is; in leagues without salary caps, like Major League Baseball and European soccer, there's nothing to it. If it works as a business decision and you can afford it, who's to stop you spending that much money? Welcome to the free economy.

It's a tough situation. Stop supporting sports because of the money being thrown around? Stop supporting the highest levels of athletics and focus on semi-pro, or more minor leagues? Or go along, wary, hoping that when the bubble bursts, your team will be in decent financial shape?

It's a tough decision. Especially as, during all great booms, it looks like the money will never dry up.

sports are cruel

Money makes the world go 'round.

Despite making no legitimate effort to find a solution in Seattle, Clay Bennett has weaseled a way out of the Key Arena lease for his ownership group and the Seattle SuperSonics will be no more starting next season.

Even though I'm a diehard Trail Blazers fan, I just can't be happy about this at all. Seattle has won a championship, the Sonics are the city's oldest sports franchise, and, oh yeah, there's stacks of evidence that Bennett's ownership group never attempted to reconcile their arena "problem." Never mind that Key Arena is less than 15 years old in its current incarnation (which is just older than Portland's Rose Garden, for what it's worth), and that it wouldn't take much to improve the arena to "current NBA standards," whatever those are.

I care, but it's frustrating. Sports are a business, and a rather expensive one at that. People want to make money from this. I get it. But after seeing the way Portland has turned around its franchise - namely, rebuilding ties to the community and not letting burned bridges stand in disrepair - and seeing Bennett and his set of flyover state carpetbaggers gleefully holding torches while they exit stage east, I can't help but get a bit frustrated by it all.

Oh well. I can rest assured knowing that, at the NBA owner's meeting vote back a couple months ago to let Bennett take the franchise to Oklahoma City, Portland owner Paul Allen was one of just two dissenting voices. The other? Mark Cuban. I guess my respect for the Mavericks' owner has gone up as well.

Goodbye, Sonics; I hope to see you again some day. And fuck you to whatever this franchise will be called from here on out. I hope they get a shitty nickname, it'll make them easier to hate.

The Finals are here

The Finals are here.


The Celtics have had NBA Finals expectations on their shoulders all year, and are now a game away from the title.

The NBA got its wish - not just the two best teams in the regular season, the No. 1 seeds in the Eastern and Western Conferences meeting in the finals, but the league's two most storied franchises - the Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics - meeting for the first time since 1987. Not since Bird, McHale and Parrish faced Magic, Worthy and the rest of the Showtime Lakers in the Boston Garden and the Forum in L.A. have these two met, and you always knew if they met up this season it would be wash of white-noise and hype leading to the games.

Two things are keeping this series from being great right now: One, the Lakers self-detonating when it counts the most (aside from their Game Three win back home in L.A., which they even almost choked away in the fourth quarter) and two, disgraced former referee Tim Donaghy has raised his ugly head and the NBA is now fighting a PR nightmare.

It's almost only fitting that as the NBA gets its dream finals, accusations are coming in that there might be somebody behind the scenes pulling strings. Donaghy has apparently accused the NBA of influencing the referees, who in turn are supposed to influence the outcomes of playoff series - to try and improve ratings, it would seem. The crux of some of this is around the Kings-Lakers Western Conference Finals in 2002, in which the Lakers won game six to take it to a seventh game, which they won en route to the title.

NBA fans have been cynical about referees in the past, and many have conspiracy theories regarding the NBA front office that should earn them honorary tinfoil hats. Frozen envelopes, make-up calls after non-calls in games, doctored playoff series, refs in on it...all of it sounds too familiar, and where there's smoke there's eventually fire.

I just hope this doesn't completely cripple the league. That would be a shame.

-------


The world's best player, Man United's Cristiano Ronaldo, tries to lead his Portuguese national side to glory

The Finals are here. After a year and a half of qualifying matches, the European Championships - aka Euro 2008 - are upon us. A week gone, three teams have qualified after winning their first two matches, the first few uninspiring matches have given way to some scintillating soccer, and pre-tournament conceptions on the favorites have already been changed.

The Dutch are flying high and Portugal is strong, whereas the Germans have slipped up and Italy - current defending world champions - are in danger of going out at the first hurdle.

I've been watching the matches every morning, and I'm actually enjoying ESPN's coverage - shocking, I know. They're putting a real effort into improving their coverage, going as far as to hire Scottish commentator Andy Gray onto their team, as well as showing three games a day (one is repeated) and doing a studio show every night. They didn't even put this much effort into their World Cup coverage two years ago.

So far, for me, the Dutch have been the story of the tournament. With no in-camp squabbles, it looks like the Oranje are finally united. Their defense isn't outstanding, but with one of the best keepers in the world - Edwin van der Sar - marshaling the back line, they're organized, and they're incredibly dangerous on the break. They've scored 7 goals in two games - against the World Cup winners (3-0 over Italy) and runners up (4-1 over France).

Watching both these finals is an exercise in drama. I wish the NBA Finals didn't have two days between games, and I wish the Germans can get through their group to the knockout rounds of the Euros. I wish I was there, too - maybe I could pretend I'm Dutch for a few days.

the more things change

It's rather appropriate to talk about things coming full circle when I've got a head full of simple astronomy (thanks, UO for making me take basic science classes to fulfill graduation requirements!) and about half of what's been talked about the last two days involves mass and how things go around in orbits.



This time last fall, I was living with the decision to follow my Portland Trail Blazers and the Association - especially through the scope of places like Deadspin and that ever-wonderful hall of justice, Free Darko. This time last year I was living off Oklahoma win hangovers while reading FD previews of The Lig, and figuring out how to pronounce LaMarcus Aldridge. I was still grasping for hold in something new.



Now? Now, I'm trying to get out of learning mode and into the role of a sensei. I know my team inside and out; nothing is new and fresh, it's sorta played out. The rush of finding out about FD and reading a back-log of Shoals is replaced with the dull throb of a drip of material. There's no novelty factor.

But I've dealt with that before - it's just a different manifestation of a need to grasp onto a storyline in order to pay attention. I lost track of the Mariners when their season went down in flames; there was no story. Last season for me, the story was finding out about everything; this year, it's seeing how the Blazers improve, if any superstars will move (MARION WATCH WEEK THREE: ALL CLEAR ON THE WESTERN FRONT), how the Nuggets will do with a full season together, THE CELTICS, how Gil does, etc. This is, as the Masters of the Klondike always say, a league of stars and stars have stories to tell.



Meanwhile, I'm still trying to avoid going out and buying needless, overpriced but infinitely cool basketball-style ware. Seriously - look at that jacket. I think one of my roommates has the original thing circa Goodwill. Meanwhile, just to fully finish off my FD love, I think I might have to go get a 'SWAG' t-shirt from the FD Outlet. Swag at a hundred and climbin', baby.

Meanwhile, the Ducks moved up five spots without even playing. WTF. Keep on keepin' on, guys. Don't stop to smell the Roses just yet.

Man, Greg Oden, why you gotta do a thing?

Nooooooooooooooooooo. No, no, no, dear god why. Between the Mariners imploding, and Oden’s knee, man, I’m one bad Ducks loss from needing 24-hour suicide watch.

Promise. The excitement of the new “big three,” Aldridge, Roy, and Oden, lasted just three months before it hit its first bump. Well, maybe the opposite of a bump, as it involves the lack of cartilage more than anything else, and I don’t know if that’d categorize as a “bump” or a “dip.” I’ll check up on that.

But still. Sam Bowie. Arvydas Sabonis. BILL WALTON. Greg Oden? Dear god, don’t tell me he’s the next Cursed Blazers Big Man. Don’t tell me there’s a curse, period, because I’m going crazy enough trying to remain calm.

I’m trying to invoke Jason Kidd, Amare Stoudemire, and Oden’s current teammate – Darius freaking Miles – trying to realize and say yes, you can come back from this with time and the right work ethic. Oden has the work ethic – now he just needs time. He just needs time. It was just a small part of the knee, and hey, there’s nothing else wrong! Nothing else. Nothing else. Nothing…

Nooooooooooooooooo whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I think I’m officially wailing over this right now, like some goddamned widow. My first reaction was a jaw drop; the next was just sheer sadness. Writers, like The Oregonian’s John Canzano and the ever-famous Bethlehem Shoals, are musing on the ‘why’ behind reactions like my own, and I think the answer is two-fold.

One, I’m sad as HELL I won’t have the chance to see him play. If he returns for next season, there’s a very good chance I’m in Japan for his rookie year, and that sucks. But the other facet is this humanizes the kid even more. Going through such adversity (especially with the way I’d imagine he’ll go through it) makes him a more sympathetic character, especially because he is apologizing for the injury! Remarkable.

So I’ll go dry out the tear-soaked Oden jersey I picked up earlier in the summer and relax. If Amare Stoudemire can come back strong, and Jason Kidd can put up ridiculous numbers (averaging a triple-double in the first round of last year’s playoffs? Nuts!) then I think a kid who can’t even drink, with a minor version of this injury and a great work ethic, will come out fine.

With some luck, we might all just get through this together.

around the horn, sports edition

so a sports-specific update: lots has been going on (and I've been writing about a good deal of it), so let's cover some bases and update some stories...

Mariners defying all odds, now just 3.5 games out



Or, "maybe I should ride the Mariners hard in columns some more." I wrote one hell of a worried column about the Mariners last week, and what happened after that? 8-game win streak (!), one of my two season wishes comes true and Hargrove resigns (!!)...and then they regress to form, get kicked in the balls twice in KC but JARED FREAKING WASHBURN shut out the Royals to get the last game of the series today.

This is where I raise my hands in futility, say "fuck it" and put my Mariners hat back on. You know, I'll take winning 9 out of 11 - including eight straight against two of the top teams in the AL, the BoSox and the Blue Jays - no matter how it happens. All I want for it is to keep happening.

Oregon explodes, Rip City is back



I believe I called this one. Okay, that's not exactly a call, as much as it is a written orgasm, but stick with me here.

The point is that not only do I as a person who's a Trail Blazers fan (not to mention a fan of my hometown - PDX 4 LYFE... or something like that) feel excitement from this, but I can sense it welling up and coming to a head in Portland. The city's opinion about the team has completely turned around in a two year span, and I simply can't believe it. Now I want to buy a Blazers jersey; now I'm proud to be a fan of the only pro sports franchise in the state.

I just can't wait for the ride to start in early November. Gotta get to a few games next year for sure.

Hello, goodbye



Just as I've welcomed one massively talented star onto one of my teams, another takes off searching for pastures new. Yep, Thierry Henry - one of my all-time favorite athletes and one-time captain of my soccer team, Arsenal - has taken off for Barcelona.

I harbor little ill will. He's done so much for the team, the team has done so much for him...it's just saddening is all. Maybe I'm the nostalgic type who wanted to see him finish his career as a Gunner, but hell, what else does he have to prove here? I don't know. I don't know.

It's like dealing with a bad break-up...you're never quite sure how to feel afterwards. I doubt, however, that if he were to return to Highbury Emirates Stadium next year in a Champions League match, he'd get the same reception as Ken Griffey, Jr. got in Seattle a few weeks ago.

HELL YES

He looks like a 40-year-old...he's dominated the college game WITH HIS OFF HAND...and he's younger than me...


(image from trailblazers.com/nba.com)

THE BLAZERS WIN THE DRAFT! THE BLAZERS WIN THE DRAFT!



MOTHERFUCKING GREG ODEN WILL BE A BLAZER!!!!!

NOTHING can take this away from me right now. NOTHING.

that was fun while it lasted

After such good play in the last two games, Malik played well again but ran into foul trouble against the Gators. Photo: Christin Palazzolo, Daily Emerald

I saw two things after Oregon's season-ending loss to the defending national champion Florida Gators today:

I saw a team, under pressure for the first time in a long time, just have an off day and miss far too many shots and making mistakes. What was Tajuan, 2 for 12? If he even hits two more of those to go 33% then it's a different ballgame. How about the fouls? Sometimes the refs are whistle happy; good, very experienced and top-level teams can play through it; I guess the Ducks couldn't today.

I also saw a team without that experience - only Zahn had ever been to the NCAA tournament before this year, and he was a redshirt freshman at the time - finally earn their stripes in the past couple of weeks and especially today. The pain in the eyes of Maarty Leunen and Malik Hairston - see Malik above - was not the pain of a team who was just happy to be there; it's the pain of a team that thought it had a legitimate chance to continue on and take home the big gong.

That appetite will be with Maarty, Bryce, Malik and, yes, Champ as they try and set out for a senior year to remember next year. It will be with Tajuan Porter, who always takes adversity as a fuel to drive him, simply because he doesn't want to be remembered as a flop in his biggest game. He'll need every ounce of that because he *is* the biggest question mark next year: can he handle all the responsibilities that were split between himself and Aaron Brooks this past season? Can he lead a team *and* be a leading scorer? Can he calm his mercurial streak for shooting?

So many questions, so much potential still, and so much pain in the team for coming up just a few steps short. I think this will be a team to watch next year. We certainly won't sneak up on anybody this time around, but I think the seniors next season can handle that pressure.

chips on shoulders and history

First thing's first: the Ducks take their two games in slightly more-dramatic-than-necessary style in Spokane, and march on to meet UNLV (quoth Billups, "RUNNIN' REBS KEEP RUNNIN'") in the Sweetness that is Sixteen.

so there's the nuts and bolts. Two issues to tackle, though, and both deal with my neurotic fandom of the Ducks (and, really, sports in general).


you know, I'm amazed he can jump so high with his teammates on his back. AB rising up in Spokane. Photo: John Givot, Daily Emerald

when it comes to sports analysis, there is only one real rule I try and take seriously: Less is more. Hyper overanalysis of trends and history can only produce so many positive results. You can’t take historic trends too seriously, because those are not the teams on the field right now and I’d wager many of those players don’t give a crap about who did what 14 years ago. Rivalries are one thing - banking on Team A losing to Team B because they’ve lost on the road to Team A 14 of the last 16 meetings, including seven in a row, is asinine. I try and avoid it at all costs.

At the same time, though, as a sports fan I have a healthy streak of militant superstition.

imagine how torn I am seeing a post like this, which is from sports blog Just Call Me Juice and was blogrolled this morning by Deadspin. Click through and find the similarities shocking.

how the hell am I supposed to reconcile that? History repeats, yes, but the Ducks don’t have the major size and assured lock-down defense Florida had (and still has); however, the signs are there…but for the Ducks to get to the Final Four the Gators would have to lose, either to Butler or Oregon in an Elite Eight matchup.

If anything can save my sanity, it's this:

Don't believe the hype...OR the Pac-10.

Digger, Pat Forde, and most any other mother fucker with a suit and an ESPN paycheck has pulled against us against Winthrop and now against those Runnin' Rebs. minus Andy Katz, who loves him some Oregon basketball for one reason or another, but still: how is it that only one guy (who might or might not be a homer) is taking the HIGH seed in this game? Since when did a higher seed get so disrespected?

Fuck, I tried to not do that but did you SEE WHAT I JUST DID THERE? Yeah, evoking ghosts of last season. Re-insert some above paragraphs on mind-fucks and fandom as you will.

However, here's the crazy thing: I don't care that the talking heads don't like what we're doing, because you know what? The Ducks *need* that pressure, or otherwise they'll become like my lazy, pot-smoking roommate: enough talent to do whatever he damn well pleases, but no motivation. Right or wrong, the Ducks' motivation comes from being underdogs, and I'll be damned how a team that was at one time No. 7 in all the land can be regarded as an underdog against a Mountain West powerhouse, but hey, if that's what gets a W on Friday, that's what matters.

now back to what apparently really matters: digging myself so far into Japanese studying I'm dreaming of kanji radicals in my sleep.

eye of the tiger, cutting down the nets

can't stop the rock

Bryce Taylor must have woken up Saturday morning in LA, looked in the mirror and said: it's time. He must have had the steely eyed determination and the "O" logo in his eye, just like they edit in for the pre-game videos for Duck football games on the jumbotron - except that was REAL.

because I have never seen such an unconscious performance in a basketball game, both by a team AND by a single player.

Bryce did not miss a shot Saturday afternoon. Think about that: go outside and take ten shots at a basketball hoop and see how many you miss; add in the pressure situation BT was in - conference title game? check - and, oh yeah, defense...for those that don't know, shooting 50% in a game is ridiculous, so not missing?

quoth NBA Jam: He's On FIRE!

It must be the shoes, then. So it is decided.

learning to fly

you ever see that credit card ad, where it has people and everything going "Someday..." and has this puppy awkwardly skating through a kitchen, with graphic text going "Someday, a back lawn"?

yeah, cute puppy, right? Focus on the puppy, keep that puppy in mind, for that puppy is fully representative of the Portland Trail Blazers.


"you may be 'so fresh,' but you're not 'so fresh comma so clean clean"

its obvious I have a deep love of my hometown team; I believe the technical term is "homer." Regardless, if this were the Portland, Maine Trail Blazers we'd be up near the top of the Leastern Conference, Zach Randolph would be an All-Star, and Brandon R.O.Y. would already have had his coronation as R.O.Y. The East is weak, and that teams like Boston and the Knicks get press coverage is due to location and history as opposed to talent.

the history might be debatable (this is where Clyde the Glide, Arvydas Sabonis, 'Sheed, etc. all drop down and remind you about the 20-plus year playoff stretch, AS IF YOU FORGOT), but the West Coast Snubs are not. If this team was in a bigger media market, it'd be all over the press; as it is, we're stuck in above-average mediocrity, not doing well enough to warrant "Cinderella Story" press coverage, not doing poorly enough to slip into the ping-pong ball mire. Without the Toronto Raptor-esque playoff run (wholly due to the weak division they play in), the Blazers are the quiet before the storm; they are the silence before the storm.

They will probably be the Jazz two years from now, except young and without Jerry Sloan.


spraying passes like a spanish steve nash

the mix of talented youngsters (three out of five starters are in their first or second years in the Association), good team chemistry multiplied by being good human beings (Mike Barrett's blog has mentioned them joking that they're "Choir boys" on the team plane) and a town that will eat both up means the West should look out next year. Let's break down some positions here:

-Jarrett Jack: I've got to admit, it's getting better; it's getting better all the time.
-Brandon Roy: R.O.Y. ain't nothing to fuck with.
-Ime Udoka: Perfect glue guy and 6th man next year.
-LaMarcus Aldridge: I already have two alternate last-names for him: Awesome and All-Star. He's certainly going to be that.
-Zach Randolph: ...is this good without playing defense. Yikes.
-Sergio Rodriguez: Once he gets more confidence in his shot, and gets fully on the same page as the team, will be AWESOME. Keep in mind he's 9 months younger than *me* and playing in the NBA.
-Two-headed white center: Needs to be more consistent and less injured.
-Darius: Needs to go away, now.

So, really, all we're looking at is getting more production out of the walking wounded and figuring out how big the tab is going to be to get Miles out of town. Everything else is on the up-and-up.

I think I can deal with that.

I don't know if the league can, yet, though.

I usually hate to parrot PR/marketing campaigns, but hell, the 'Zers have a good line up on their web site right now: Right coach, right team, right direction. Of course it's the right time to be a season ticket holder; sunshine, rainbows, and fucking Rip City coming back. It's a fresh morning.


women go crazy for a sharp-dressed man

[bill simmons]you could go into war with a man like that leading you.[/simmons]

post two, electric boogaloo: YouTube series

you know, it's the NFL that has the "no fun league" label already attached...allowing Gary Coleman-looking Knick point guard Nate Robinson to go into the second round of the dunk contest at the NBA All-Star game robbed us of the above video, which is Dwight Howard kissing something very unsanitary.



that he didn't get to the second round after *that* is ridiculous, and down to the fact that they didn't play up the fact that he had a sticker in his hand. Not enough showmanship and flash.