Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Dust it off, shine it up

Well, hello there. It's been quite a while - two full months. Sorry, I've been busy — between Duck football season, Rock Band and learning kanji I've had no time to write, which is a shame, because it's something I enjoy doing.

Now, though, I've found something that needs to be shared: I hate videos like this.

There was a whole thread at the GTX back in late 2004 and early 2005 that basically made me buy a PlayStation 2 and pre-order Gran Turismo 4. What was that thread? Photo mode screenshots uploaded. And not just any old photo mode shots, these were made by guys who knew what the F-stops and other settings mean on a real camera.

So, basically, they were the hottest looking thing evar.

Now you're giving me this? A speeding Japanese bullet train with a one-way ticket to the uncanny valley, down to the driver pulling on his helmet? (which looked accurate as, invariably, the guy's probably just 5'3", as all good racers are insanely short or are Boris Said.) How is my mind supposed to take seeing something like that?

The problem's not that the game is pretty. Oh no. It's just that I know where this all leads. Overspending on new hardware; a three-month fling with the game that ends up being not nearly as engaging as hoped; a distasteful breakup that brings up the same old complaints from the previous four games. Lack of good AI, questionable steering and handling feel, lack of customization, ABS on everything, broken single-player treadmill...etc., etc. I know all the problems, but when faced with a teaser trailer like that I get weak.

At least I can take solace in the fact that, knowing Polyphony Digital, if it comes out in 2008 it'll be in time for me to buy the Japanese PS3 version *in* Japan. That'd be kinda cool.